“How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you” ~ Rupi Kuar
The story that you tell yourself, nearly above anything else, determines the quality of your life. What stories are you telling yourself that is simply not true? What narrative have you made up? That you can't? It's simply impossible. When you continually tell yourself endless stories using disempowering language, you begin to believe this as true.
The power of the language we use on a day to day basis affects us in significant ways. Language is the starting point by which we recognise whether we are empowering or disempowering ourselves. Of the 50,000 thoughts you have a day, close to 80% are likely to be negative. This talk takes place mainly on a subconscious level.
For example, if the story that I'm telling myself is that "I'm not good enough," how are you meant to start taking action towards your goals? When you've wired your brain to think that you can't. Once you begin to notice your stories and negative self-talk, start to take action to change these thought patterns. But how?
We must first understand where it comes from, why we have the current narrative, then what we can do to change it if it's not serving us.
Change the dialogue by saying, "I see your old story; thanks for serving me on some level up to the present day, but I don't need you anymore. I am now choosing to tell myself the story that I'm capable, strong, determined, and worthy. I love who I am. Don't let your old disempowering patterns determine how your self-talk is for the rest of your life.
From “I have to” to “I get to”
I have to get to work.
I get to go to work so that I can maintain the lifestyle that I enjoy.
From “I need to” to “I could”
I need to do the grocery shopping.
I could choose to do the grocery shopping so that I’m fully stocked for the week.
From “I can’t do this” to “I can do this with some practise”
I can’t do this because it’s too hard.
I can do this, and with some practise it’ll get much easier.
I can’t sleep.
I can sleep soundly and I trust my body and mind to sleep restfully.
From “I don’t have a choice” to “Everything is a choice”
I don’t have a choice to say no to my boss.
Everything is a choice, and I can choose to assert myself and say no respectfully when needed.
What else can you do to change how you talk and see yourself? It starts with language internally, but what’s stopping you from writing it down and saying it out loud? Start to align your life with positive self-talk in your daily routine, such as journaling and meditating.
I am not saying when you change your language; everything will fit into place; I am saying it will be a lot easier. You’ll be kinder to yourself when you make mistakes, you’ll try again, and that’s how you become the better version of yourself.
Imagine waking up in the morning and being motivated to take action because you believe you can achieve, you can do this, and you will succeed. Wouldn’t it be easier to believe in yourself and love yourself, giving yourself a solid chance to reach new heights in your life.